I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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