Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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