You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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