you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
