that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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