I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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