and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
