There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
