bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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