OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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