He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
