didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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