The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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