You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
