we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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