he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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