It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
