I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
