I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
