i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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