apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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