Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(908): View more from New Jersey

wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes

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(916): View more from California

does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.

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(941): View more from Florida

Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.

(1-941): View more from Florida

That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.

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(813): View more from Florida

Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.

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(914): View more from New York

After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...

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(708): View more from Illinois

Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.

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(585): View more from New York

They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.

(716): View more from New York

So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?

(585): View more from New York

Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?

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