Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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