his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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