Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
