it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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