I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
