Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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