I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
