how do flat chested girls get laid?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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