I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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