I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
