ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
