the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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