Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
