also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Pants are for mortals
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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