Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
