i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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