Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
