butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Fuck appropriateness.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
