theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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