im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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