worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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