hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
