with your own penis?
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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