I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
