I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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