i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
