____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can you bring me the toilet please
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
