Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
